Ouch. It's been a full month since I posted. I guess that says something about how well this month has gone for me in terms of getting less fat and more fit. The month of October, while not resulting in any weight loss, provided some useful lessons:
1. Taking a week or two off from exercise when you've been exercising a lot makes your body feel both good and bad. My knees were a lot happier, but I felt like a low-energy slug.
2. I still eat from stress. We came home early in the month to discover that the upper level of our house (we rent the lower level) had caught fire. It's been a mess, and it's been a pain, and I've eaten a lot this month.
3. I eat to avoid doing things I don't want to do. That's a new realization for me. I've acknowledged that I eat for pleasure, I eat from boredom, I eat under stress, I eat to celebrate. I've been really bored with my job lately, and when I don't want to work, I just mosey on over to the kitchen and fetch a bite, or a hundred, to eat. I can't be doing/thinking about those things I want to avoid if I'm stuffing my face. Can't you see my hands are occupied?!?!
4. Looking at the long term only leads to crap eating and no exercise. This is one of my personal truths: focusing on long term goals results in procrastination and discouragement with regards to losing weight and increasing fitness. I woke up on Sunday this week and realized that I was looking at long term goals, like lose 20 pounds by the end of the year, to excuse my unhealthy behavior every day. I'd justify eating pizza by reasoning that I could just work extra hard and lose 4 pounds instead of 3 NEXT WEEK. I'd justify not exercising by promising myself to exercise for two hours instead of one TOMORROW. Yeah, I'm bad about doing that, with regards to weight loss or other goals I've set in non-body related areas of my life. Anyway, I had this epiphany that probably a lot of other people have had and written about that I've actually read but not grasped because knowing something in your brain is not the same as knowing it in your guts, and that epiphany is this: the only unit of time I should be focusing on is today. If I have a good day, a balanced, healthy day, TODAY, the number on the scale is going to go down TOMORROW. If I exercise TODAY, I will be able to run longer and faster NEXT WEEK. If I eat my fruits and veggies TODAY, I don't need to worry about tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that. If I focus on having a good, balanced day today, just today, I am better able to do all the things I know are good for me - eating extra servings of fruits and veggies, getting in a good workout, getting in my hours at work, and reaching personal goals on the to-do list. We shall see if this epiphany manages to stick.
I've had a good week so far with exercising, thought the eating has still been shite. I need to start keeping FitDay again, even if it makes me want to cry to see what I've eaten. That's kind of the idea, I think. I also need to do better with regards to preparing my food at the beginning of the week, so that I have a healthy go to instead of a convenience food go to.
The weigh in: 278.4
16 years ago
